So the story begins (unfortionatly)

THIS STORY IS 100% FAKE (AND I AM EVER SO GLAD IT IS) I AM NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE WITH THIS STORY. IT IS JUST FOR FUN, SO DONT GET ALL MAD.
One day, there was a ninja named Jade. He and his best friend, Davey loved going to walmart to look at all of the different types of toaster ovens. One day, while browsing the small appliances isle, Davey noticed a new toaster oven that they had just gotten in stock. Davey reached out to open the toaster oven when Jade grabbed his wrist to stop him "Dont" said Jade
"well why not?" asked Davey
"because toaster ovens give you toast" he replied
"i like toast" said Davey. Then he opened up the toaster oven and there was a piece of toast. He ate the toast, while Jade watched him jealously. Jade continued to stare.
"what r u looking at?" said Davey, his mouth filled with toast
"I wanted that toast" said Jade. then he began to cry
"too bad" said davey. Everyone knew about davey's inability to share, especially when it came to toast.
Later that day at the goodwill, Jade was polishing all of the toaster ovens, excited about his paysheck. " 10 more dollars and i will be able to get the "How to not blow up a toaster oven book for ninjas" " While Jade was busy with his job, Davey was in the bathroom taking a dump. "ooh that was some powerful toast" thought Davey if only it go out the EEEEeeeeexit HOOOOOOOOooolEE" he strained. *plop* "ALL DONE!" he said aloud. Just as he was about to leave, he noticed that he was missing his favorite ring, the flower power one he had gotten for a present on his 30th birthday. he turned around to look in the toilet, thankful he had not yet flushed, and looken into the bowl of the toilet.
He didnt see his ring, but what he did see surprised him. It was a caterpillar. He fished the caterpillar out of the toilet and asked "who are you adn why are you in the toilet?"
The caterpillar replied" I am Hunter. But who are you and why are you in the ladies restroom?"
As Davey was exiting the stall, he noticed a line of women waiting, and he blushed as he ran out the door. However, on his way out, he tripped over some old ladies wheelchair
"Hunter, are you ok?" Davey asked, looking around
"yes im fine but what about her" Hunter replied, pointing to the old lady in what was left of her wheelchair
"OMG i am totally so sorry" Cried Davey " here let me help you...wait a minutet. thats MY flower power ring!!"
Just then, Jade heard all of this commotion adn came running to the rescue with super fast ninja speed (and dont forget this is all happening at the goodwill lol)
"what the ...?" Jade was about to asked, but he didnt need to finish his sentance. He saw antiques flying everywhere and Davey beating the crap out of some gnarled old woman. He had to do something about this "Ninja Jade to the rescue" he shouted. *pow* Jade kisked Davey right in the face, sending davey flying backwards, knocking over someone in a pirate costume.
"Jadeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" screamed Davey, forgetting about the old woman
"look what youve done" cried Jade
"no look what YOUVE done" shouted Davey" you smeared my eyeshadow"
"you killed a woman" said Jade
"yes but she was gnarled so she doesnt count. i mean look at al of those wrinkles. even makeup cant fix those"
"Mabe she isnt dead" said the tall man in the pirate costume
Jade went over to check her pulse, but it was too late. Now she was just a pile of wrinkles. Davey went over to retrieve his flower power ring, but the man in the pirate costume grabbed it out of Davey's hand, braking opne of his nails.
"Aaaaaaghhhh" screamed Davey. "Give me my ring back!!!!!"
"no" said the man in the pirate costume
"Hi my name is Jade" said Jade" just ignore Davey. he gets a little upset when anyone messes with his jewlery. So who are you?"
"My name is Adam. I came to the goodwill looking for parts to my pirate ship"
"Adam!!!!! It has been so long since last time i saw you. What are you talking about. You arent a pirate. Stop being silly. Hehe remember the treaseure hunt. Oh those were the good old days. I will never forget when you went digging for the treasure and accidentally dug up some guy's dead grandma." Said Hunter, excited
"You did what with my grandma?" Yelled Davey
"Oh well I did remember to re-bury her. Maggots and all..."
Davey stomped out of the goodwill and ran all of the way home, crying. He decided to go into his living room and watch MTV until he fell asleep. But it was too dark and his favorite night light had broke last week after he got in a fight with his dog for stealing his vegan chicken. Since it was still bright outside, he decided to open all of the curtains. He fell asleep quietly singing snakes on a plane...
Meanwhile, at the goodwill...
"Im gonna go see what is wrong with Davey." Jade turned around to walk away when he noticed a baarney sing along tape. "How much is this?" he asked the sales person
" two dollar" said the man
"aaw man can i right you a check. i spent all of my cash in the arcade trying to win a plushie of Smith"
"They make plushies of me?" Smith asked
Davey silently walks into the goodwill, slaps smith and says" this is my story bitch. ur gonna get shot up in this hood if you try anythign homie. " and goes back home to his couch
Jade grabs the tape, paying for it in pocket lint, and leaves. He walks all the way to Davey's house humming some Michael Jackson song that i dont even know the name of and knocks on Davey's door. No awnser. He decides to break down the door using his secret ninja skills.
He enters the house and finds Davey sitting on the couch, crying
"He wont give me my ring. He wont give me my ring. MUST HAVE FLOWER POWER!!..."
He turs around to see Jade staring at him with a concerned expresion on his face. Jade calls Adam and tellls him to bring the ring right away. Assistance from the short bus may be needed, he added
While Jade attempts to cheer Davey up, Adam is on his way to give Davey his ring back, with hunter on his shoulder. Adam walks by a window and starts towards the front door, but then he backs up adn stared throught the window. He listenes in on their conversation
"Davey, im sorry about what happened today. I just want to tell you how much you mean to me" Jade places his hand on Davey's shoulder. "Lets dance" he says
"But I dont know how!" Davey cries
"here ill teach you" Jade turns on Davey's cd player and Helmet begins to play. Davey attempts to dance to his music when Jade says"if you want to learn to dance, you will need real music." Jade quickly inserts a Lil John cd
"well what do I do?" Davey asks
"its easy all you need to do is...Snap yo fingers...and clap yo hands...you can do it all by yourself...let me see ya do it..."
Davey begins to do the dance with Jade while outside Adam and Hunter stare in the window in amusement.
"Damn i wish i could do that" said Hunter
Suddelny Davey looses his balance and falls over. He stands back up and sees Adam and Hunter looking in his window."WHERE IS MY RING???" he screams
Hunter goes around throught the front door and hands Davey the ring
"my prescioussss" whispers Davey
"ooh now youve done it" Jade ads.
Davey begins crawling around on the floor whispering "my presious". All of a sudden he goes outside, sees a woodpecker, adn follows it. It flies up into a tree and he, not paying attention as always, runs straight into the tree.
"My presious!" He screams, scaring the bird. the bird flies away and Davey runs after it.
"Davey, get back here, NOW" Jade screams
"We have to go find him. He will get lost and be eaten by a rabid squirrel if we dont" Hunter squeaks.
"How are we ever going to catch him? I would use my ninja speed but i am not carrying you Adam, and Hunter you would blow away. God i wish you would hurry up adn turn into a butterfly."
"We could take my pirate ship...." Adds Adam
"YOU HAVE NO PIRATE SHIP!!!YOU ARE NOT A PIRATE!!!" screams Hunter. "also, what good would a pirate ship do on land?"
Jade uses his super powered ninja eyes to see that Davey just swam across the gulf of mexico and is now running towards Bolivia
"Oh NO! not Bolivia. I will never go back to Bolivia..." Hunter begins to cry
"well why not? Adam asks
"They tried to eat me..."
"Oh, well we r going there anyway"
"No WE are not" Hunter says
"Ill give you my Smith plushie!!!!"
"ooh so they DO make plushies of me" Smith says
Davey uses his flower power to fly back to his yard, smacks Smith, says" get out of my hood Homie, dont make me go all Snap-yo-fingers on you" and flies back to bolivia.
Hunter gladly accepts the Smith plushie although he is a caterpillar and it is bigger than him, so he dropps it, loosed his balance, falls, and it lands on top of him.
"ooh im a cripple. oh my god im gonna be crippled for the rest of my life. NOOOOOOO...."
"Hunter, it is a toy, a stuffed toy, it cannot hurt you, even thought it is 10 times bigger than you. The only scary thing about it is the fact that it looks like Smith, but thats a different story"
"uhh-hmm" Says Adam" are we going to save Davey of not?
"well i guess we really dont have a choice now do we, they will eat him down there" Jade says
"I think we have a little time. I mean they would eat his arms first. mm all that beefy meat. he can live without his arms."
"What?!?!?!?" Jade screams
"I said he can live without his arms."
"And..."
"and what?
"and you said "beefy meat" it is muscle. MUSCLE" Jade says
"beef"
"muscle"
"beef"
"muscle"
"woodpecker!"Adam shouts
"..." Hunter and Jade stop their argument and look confused
"Woodpecker? Where? askes Jade
"In Bolivia of course" replied Adam
"well dur-da-dur. Lets go!
They all got in Adam's pirate ship and went across the gulf of mexico. When they reached land, they left the pirate ship and rented boxes.
"Cant your box go any faster?" shouted Adam who was sharing a box with Hunter
"Nope but I found that running makes the box go faster"
Finally, after 5 hours of running, 2 mystery meat AKA food breaks, anad 8 take-a-crap breaks, they decided to stop for the night. They found a motel and all went up to their rooms. They went down to the cafeteria for dinner but when they saw what was being served, Hunter began to cry.
"Its all over, they killed him, hes gone and being eaten by hundreds of hungry Bolivians" Hunter cried
"Wait, how do you know?" Asked Jade
"Look at what is for dinner"
Jade looked over and saw a big plate of chicken wings. He turned back around an stared at Hunter.
"Chicken wings?" You thought that this was Davey?
"What, you dont see the similarities?"
"uum...no..."
"Well whatever" Said Hunter angrily
They all decided not to eat that night, just incase, and began to go back up to their rooms, when they ran into Jeffree Star
"Jeffree!!!" shouted Jade "It has been forever soince ive seen you. Have you seen Davey?"
"Oh yah. He is in my room right now. He asked to use my makeup since he forgot his. Something about a woodpecker..."
"Long story" Said Adam
They all ran to Jeffree's room adn found Davey sitting there
"Should i go with the blue eyeshadow, or the clear glittery kind?" Davey asked
"Blue"
"Clear"
"BOTH!"
"I need to peeeeee"Said Adam, heading for the bathroom in Jaffree star's room
"ooh dont go in there"Said Davey" Someone had a bit of an accident if you know what i mean. I have no clue who it could have been...."
"ok then . i think i saw one out in the hallway on the way from the cafeteria" Adam said and rushed out the door. He went and did his business, but when he returned to the room, he realized he must have shut the door behind him, and it locked itsself. He tried knocking on the door, but he could hear the barney sing along tape being played in the background, so he knew noone would ever hear him
He decided to go look for Jeffree. He went down the hallway and came to a deadend. "Crap im lost" He turned around to try a different way, but he saw michael jackson standing in his way
"My My child how handsome you are" Said michael Jackson " If you'de like to come with me, i have lots of ...uhh...toys that you an me could share. I guarentee youll have fun"
"noooooooooo thanks" Said Adam, trying to get away
"Well then, do you have a little brother? The little ones are always more exciting anyways"
"Go away" Adam shouted, punching MJ in the face. MJ's mask came off and he noticed that it was not Michael Jackson, but...
"Justin Timberlake!?!?!?!? WTF r u doin here and y r u wearin a MJ mask?" shouted Adam
"I just wanted to find some little kid who would love me. I mean all teenagers and adults hate me. Everyone thinks i suck and now there are rumors going around that I am gay, but the truth is thats its not just a rumor, it is true. So you wouldnt happen to know anyone who would like to "bring sexy back" with me if you know what i mean, would you?"
"Well there is this one guy..." Adam showed Justin the way to Jeffree's room and noticed that the music had stopped. He knocked on the door, and Davey opened it.
"OMG Justin Timberlake. I love you!!!!" Davey screamed
"no you don't" Adam whispered in his ear"
"oh i mean no i dont love you" Davey said "So what is he doing here?"
"Oh he came to see Hunter."
Davey called for Hunter and Hunter quickly came to the door.
"A caterpillar?" Justin said
"Well...yes...but he is your biggest fan. You'll see" Said Adam "So Hunter, Justin wants to play a game with you. Remember to not talk to strangers, have fun, nevre go outside after dark, we dont want to get raped now do we?"
"No sir" replied Hunter, annoyed
"Ok then i will see you later" Adam said. He shut the door and went over to talk to Davey.
Meanwhile, out in the hallway, Justin led Hunter to a room. He opened the door, and there was a small cage in the middle of the room. "Ill be right back" said Justin as he put Hunter into the cage. Justin left the room and began to cry to himself. "NOone loves my music. Plus, how can i bring sexy back when im so ugly. I got it, I will help Paul Wall run his grill shop!" He went back into the room, with teers still in his eyes.
Hunter saw that he had been crying and pretended to be asleep. Justin walked over to a corner of the room, seeing that Hunter was asleep. "Well first i will need to learn the song. He was about to begin singing when he saw that he didnt know any of the words. He went into the room across the hall, got on the internet and downloaded"grillz", forgot all about HUnter, and begin to sing.
"Hunter noticed that Justin had left the room and tried to escape his cage. "Its locked" he said to himself. Then he got an idea. "well, mabe Justin is watching me from some secret hole in the wall. ill just try to impress him" he thought.
"He stood up and began to sing and dance "Im bringging sexy back..."
"Hunter sure has been gone for a while" Said Adam
"Oh but i bet there having lots of fun" Said Davey" wow i bet the two of them really can bring sexy back"
"yeah but im gonna go make sure he is ok" Said Adam
"Ok im coming with you"
Adam and Davey walked down to the check in desk of the motel and asked the guy what room Justing Timberlake was in.
"room 69 and 70" said the man
They walked to the elevator adn went to floor 2. they saw room 66, 67, 68...
"ooh there it is" shouted Davey
"yes but what is that noise?" Said Adam
Adam went up to room 69 and opened the door. Inside Hunter was realling getting into the song, dancing around so seriously.
"Im bringing sexy bak..."
"YEAH!"Davey shouted
Hunter turned around and saw Davey and Adam looking at him. Embarressed he said"could you please get me out of this cage?"
Adam went to try yo open the cage, but it wouldnt open." well, where is Justin?"
"Hes in the next room"
Leaving Hunter, Adam and Davey went to room 70, opened the door, and saw
"got 30 down at the bottom, got 30 more at the top, the only little visible set, in little ice cube blocks..."(i think thats how the song goes)
"ok i've had enough of that" Said Davey
"Wait" said Adam, pulling out his video camera. He video taped the whole thing. Davey went and unlocked Hunters cage and they went to download the video from youtube. Then they all died of laughter.

THE VIDEO!!! coming soon.

When pancakes attack

yup, im eatin pancakes. not just any pancakes...these are MICROWAVABLE pancakes, lazy people approved XD. Ok, the names Smeagol. I get hyper very easily, so keep the sugar away. Acually, I take that back, I don't mind being hyper, cause thats when I write the best stories. Me and Ashley are currently workind on a Javey story,with Ashley doing most of the work. I wrote a bit of it, but hers in much better. I suppose I could post it for you, but it really sucks and isnt finished, also im too lazy to type it, so in a few seconds, ill post the old one from my myspace bloggy. yuppers, the myspace is www.myspace.com/rabbitsnotroadkill. Feel free to add me, I don't bite. If you havent already noticed, im having a hyper moment. So while im at it, ill post the old myspace bloggy story, not that you care, but ill do it anyway XD